iTunes Movies are for Suckers

Mac Rumors: iTunes Movies to be sold for $9.99? Although an Apple movie service is not confirmed yet, is reporting that iTunes has their first online movie up for sale. For $9.99 you can get a crappy DRM infested low res version of a 1 hour 39 minute Disney Channel original TV movie called High School Musical (ugh, boring).

Although in fairness to the movie I will say that most folks over at the IMDB actually do love it, I still can’t resist posting the review entitled “Worst Movie I HAve EVER SEEN!!” just for the humor of it all:

“The plot makes no sense. As if a teacher can be so horrible that the TRYOUTS for the high school musical would be on the same afternoon (why would it be at 3:30?) as the state basketball championship. If this were somehow true, you have the responsibility to a team in the first place because GAMES come before TRYOUTS. The only people who would like this movie are 14 year old girls who want to see that guy with his shirt off, by the way girls try the pool! H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E!! If you truly want to be bored to tears or you are in prison you should watch this movie. Also, why would people care if a fat girl dances or a guy likes to cook. This also comes to ask, why would brother and sister want to co- star in plays because who would want to have a kissing or intimate scene with their siblings? WORST MOVIE EVER!!”

So in keeping with the iTunes for Suckers theme, I’ll once again say that anyone who pays $9.99 for a crappy low res version of a second rate made for TV movie is indeed an idiot, pardon my French.

People don’t want low res movies. They want HDTV. HDTV is cool. It looks all fancy like. Low res iTune video looks like crap. And at $9.99 for a bad movie it’s expensive crap.

While I can appreciate Apple trying to do something here. They are going to need to come out with some kind of a committment to increase the both the content quality and the picture quality of their programming if they hope to see this work.

Perhaps a rewrite of Lou Reed’s classic tale of the streets of New York is in order:

Little Stevie Jobs never once gave it away. Everybody had to pay and pay. A hustle here and a hustle there. Cupertino’s the place where they say…

And the Appleheaded fan boys say, doo do doo do doo do do doo

15 Replies to “iTunes Movies are for Suckers”

  1. No one said that that movie was any good. Quality of movie and quality of a service are twoo different things. Besides, how long will it take your computer to render a feature length film down two 320×240 in H.264 @ 30fps? Let someone else do the owrk and buy it. Or do you want people to rip (illegally) from DVD’s and spend days rendering down their movies?

  2. I don’t care about HDTV…

    And if Apple ever has a good movie on sale for $10, I may buy it just for the convenience of it all.

    If you don’t like it, why don’t you go check out google’s video service…I heard that’s tons better (sarcasm).

  3. Goooogle rulez!

    iTunes is just a flash in the pan! Besides, I think paying for stuff is for suckers.

    Limewirrre rulesz!

  4. Please explain how you would ever notice the difference between a standard broadcast and a High Def one on a 2″ screen?

  5. Anonymous #2, it’s interesting you would say that about Limewire. If I remember correctly Limewire has some pretty inexpensive downloads.

    Anonymous #3, only a sucker is going to pay $10 for a movie only to watch it on their 2″ portable. I’ll just record it on my TiVo/MCE (if Disney made for TV movies are my thing), and transfer it over (tricky, I know) saving myself something like $9.99 in the process.

  6. So, you’re saying that if you’re thirsty out at the mall – you’ll just wait until you get home to drink something?

    That a 32 ounce soda will cost you way more than buying a liter at the supermarket for $.99 but you are never willing to accept anything less than optimal value?

    Now, who’s the idiot?

    The itunes movie store is a choice – maybe it’s not the best value but it’s a choice – it’s not forced on you. It’s there if you want it. You don’t have to wait for the DVD – no driving to the store and it’s in stock.

    a DVD is a compromise also – it’s a compressed format. Same with HD. It’s a compressed format. Even 1080 is compressed – why draw the live at even DV – why not insit all performances must be live 5 feet in front of you – yes, we can only watch live performances to get the full effect … look, it’s Greece 3000 BC – is that what you’re arguing for?

  7. Anonymous #4. Soda is bad for your teeth.

    That point about having only live Greek like performers perform in your living room is exactly the point I was trying to make. Good comparison between that and HDTV vs. crappy low res iTune movie downloads.

    And the Appleheaded fan boys say, doo do doo do doo do do doo.

    Seriously dude, come on, $9.99 for a crappy low res made for TV Disney flick?

  8. umm, dude,

    that one movie is not for sale for 9.99.

    in fact it’s not for sale at all.

  9. …and six months down the road, the world (especially the Apple haters) will be shocked and astounded at how successful the iTunes video downloads have become, and cry that it’s “unfair” that they can’t watch them on their clunky MS sanctioned knockoffs.

  10. Anonymous said…
    …and six months down the road, the world (especially the Apple haters) will be shocked and astounded at how successful the iTunes video downloads have become, and cry that it’s “unfair” that they can’t watch them on their clunky MS sanctioned knockoffs.

    Yes…except that like iTunes, the movies will work on PC’s too.
    PC Lusers still won’t buy, though. Lusers will continue stealing from P-P or NG’s.
    That’s how lusers “win”!

  11. Go ahead and use your TIVO with your other geeked out gear to convert video to an HD or HD-like quality file. You’re in a minority of people who can do that. Most iTunes users are your joe/jane average who doesn’t know diddly squat about doing those sorts of things. Apple does all that for you, and charges you $9.99. Seems like there is a demand for something like that, so you should enjoy capitalism at its best.

    I’m sure that if it wasn’t semi-illegal to rip movies from your TIVO and totally illegal to sell the things you converted into an HD movie file, you’d gladly sell crappy movies for $9.99 as long as there are dummies who’ll buy it.

  12. tbone, it’s not “semi illegal” to rip content off my TiVo or MCE. It’s called fair use. It’s a concept that says that we can time shift TV and watch it on other devices for personal use. This was settled a long time back with Sony’s Betamaxx. Although many content creators would prefer selling you the same content over and over and over again, there is nothing illegal about my taking TV I record and shifting it to other devices I, or those in my immediate household, own.

    And trust me. TiVo really isn’t that hard.

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