Why Marrying For Money is Never a Good Idea

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Via Howard Lindzon.

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30 Comments

  1. TranceMist says:

    R-O-T-F-L-M-A-O !!!

    Thanks for a fantastic laugh today, Thomas!

    P.S. No mention of intelligence, for obvious reasons.

  2. Hubert says:

    This is outstanding! Now – where do I find her? 🙂

  3. JeffH says:

    That is a very funny and true assessment of the situation! I think this has been around the net for a while. I seem to recall reading it several years ago. But it’s still funny and worth resurrecting.

  4. Alan says:

    Dude, this made my day. The poster of the reply needs a medal! For a finance guy this really hits home! Thanks Thomas!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Now this girl has to market herself in terms of increasing investment portfolio value. Like by marrying her she will allow you to contribute more money to your ROTH IRA, but of course for someone making over 500k per year this won’t help. But she might take a look at tax advantages given to those married vs single filers.

  6. This is good. I’ve gone further and tried to rank the different worlds women face.

  7. James says:

    Clearly, she needs to find a more innovative ‘business model’. In her situation, perhaps a derivative of the NetJets fractional ownership approach: instead of trying to find one guy making $500k, she should alternate between five guys each making $100k on a time-share basis.

    Of course, she’ll need to find a way to offer the guaranteed trade-in value on a newer model that NetJets has… does she have a sister?

  8. Anonymous says:

    Beyond priceless…I definitely got at least $500K of laughs from this!!!

    Jim

  9. Assen says:

    But thinking it from the finance perspective a bit further, Markowitz showed that a well diversified portfolio improves the return while reducing the risk (lets simplify it to our case: reducing the cost, while improving the utility). So if this whole thing is a finance decision, why note arrange a deal: Take the girl in your portfolio with a whole bunch of other ones!
    God, who would have known that studying finance would help me create an economic model recommending me to date as many girls as possible! Life is SWEET!

  10. Anonymous says:

    The post title doesn’t really make sense. Yes, a beautiful woman marrying for money should keep her eyes open about the depreciating value of the assets she brings to the table, but it’s not like once she’s married she no longer has any cards to play.

    For one thing, if she wants children, even if the man leaves her for a younger woman eventually, her children are still going to be very well taken care of.

    Secondly, the man is not the only one with an option to trade up. By marrying Mr. 500K, she puts herself in a better position to meet Mr. 5 Million (though admittedly she will face much stiffer competition in her trading attempts than her husband will).

  11. Anonymous says:

    In these days of divorce laws, marrying for money is surely a better deal than ever – there is a good chance of the court giving you much of his money, and no chance of it giving him much of your beauty.

    The catch is that the targets are getting wary and writing pre-nups…

  12. Anonymous says:

    Another economic point she fails to consider: The supply of 500K+ men is small, while the supply of quite attractive young ladies is large.

    I think most attractive women greatly overvalue their attractiveness and the amount of power they think it gives them over men. The harsh truth is that even if she is quite attractive, nice enough, smart enough… there are many others like her. This limits how much value she can extract from her looks.

    Mental exercise: You’re chatting with Mr 500K in a trendy club. Looking around, how many other young attractive women in the club might he be interested in? Now, how many other 500K men are there that might be interested in her?

  13. Dear Gorgeous,
    Kudos to the origianl replier. For my two cents, now you know why young men are consistently frustrated at the sight of women of similar age who date older men. Your mentality basically relegates you to older men. Older men are more likely to make the salary that you require. Young men have the earning potential, but generally money comes with experience and the acquisition of skills and knowledge. Given this, you have set yourself up to bear the burden of some significant opportunity costs. Imagine you meet a suitable man who is 45. All else being equal you have traded access to some amount less than $500K per annum (he will have to consume some of those resources) for 20 years worth of sexual vitality (I am assuming you intend on remaining monogamous in marriage). Of course you may also be forgoing compatibility, love, the energy to share the burdens of parenting, and the companionship of this man in your later years. All told these opportunity costs add up. You might be selling yourself for pennies on the dollar, which means you will attract emotional arbitrageurs rather than men willing to invest for the long term. It boggles us young dudes to see women like you lower your price just to maintain market share.

  14. Anonymous says:

    For $500,000, you better swallow, take it up the butt and be willing to go down on another women. If money is what’s important to you, then THAT’S what’s important to me.

  15. J says:

    I have been living for a long time and life is not like that. The girl knows most 500,000 $ p.a. husband women are plain and totally different from her, but unthinkingly feels that she is more competitive and better. She should consider what makes those plain dumb women successful (defined as getting where they are) while she, already 25, is so totally unsuccessful and worse, totally clueless about how to approach her goal. Should she come down to Earth, she will find that get married at all (to any decent man) is an extremely difficult problem for an American 25 y.o. girl, and she may be unable to solve even that.

  16. Thomas — you are magnificent – you made my blender a work of art and now this. So I am that girl – I was 24 and was considered hot (kids change that one). I lived in NYC and was doing the NYC 25yo thing and wanted that 500K guy. You know what? I got him – he was 50 – worth mega millions and you know what – he called me gidget – paraded me around like a puppet and never cared a whit about my goals, aspirations and hopes…not that all guys are like this of course. The guy that I married was the guy who showed up and kept showing up, called when he said he would and gave me flowers just because. GUESS WHAT??? He is now worth way beyond the numbers she was tossing out. My shout out to this honey is be smart, work hard, be the woman you want to be, give back to the world, be confident, have fun, work hard,be kind, be respectful, give every guy a chance because people are interesting, grab your goals and find the one that shows up and calls when he says he will. Trust me, it that much better when he makes his first million — you take the shit with the sugar honey and you build it together. Fifteen years, two babies, lots of laughter and tears later it is the journey that is simply worth more than any dollar amount. Its ok – you are 25 and you see us gals with our cars and our watches and bags and you wonder how is this possible? I did too —

  17. Anonymous says:

    I think the simple answer is that there is no simple way. Its almost like getting a job. Sure, there will always be less-qualified or less-able people doing a job worse than you could do, and terrible movies are made while awesome screen plays collect dust.

    However, that fact alone had nothing to do with you reaching your goal. What matters is how much opportunity and competition there is.

    Looks are important, but they qualify more than they decide. Some guys will always go for a hotter mate and nothing else, but there are few of those and lots of competition.

    Also, guys are pretty well able to compartmentalize, and also have genuine emotions. This means that guys can decide to sleep with hotties until they are ready to look for a wife, at which point they kind of turn on the feelings and start looking for wives.

    Also, beauty has diminishing returns to scale. Once you find a girl who is nice likely to be the hottest person in a room the majority of the time, a girl who is a little bit hotter but annoying is way less attractive.

    Finally, as was pointed out by another commentator, and also a quote from a famous Russian movie, to be a general’s wife in Moscow, you have to marry a Lieutenant in Siberia.

    Good luck to that woman, I hope she accomplishes her goals.

  18. Anonymous says:

    I feel sorry for you all. America land of dreams – B.S.! I think you people forget that you will also die, that on a 24h clock scince humanity yout life last about 5 seconds and none will care. It doesn’t matter if you live it as king or slave you still die and no one cares!
    You probably never heard of consepts such as moral and dignity but I will stronglyy recomend living like you have a backbone not selling your self! And the other peolpe which present this in economic terms – “opportunity cost, selling price etc” you are pathetic. GET A LIFE!

  19. Anonymous says:

    Wow, did your mom drop you on the head when you were born?

  20. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for a fantastic laugh today

    منتديات

  21. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for a fantastic laugh today, Thomas!

    Rize

  22. Anonymous says:

    this is just fantastic..i mean the spectacularly dumb woman,and the really witty guy…yeah,thats what we men need…give us honesty women…the law of the land is so messed up,it somehow encourages these women..i mean in the above case,this woman could file for a divorce and fly away with a pretty decent package..or in some cases(remember paul mccartney)an obscene package…and no,the pre nup would hardly help…

  23. lise says:

    Sportsagents wife answered the question. The plain Janes invest in the guy before he’s a millionaire. How refreshingly normal.

  24. Helenore Roseavelt. says:

    You sound like a stupid conceited bitch. I bet you are not all that beautiful and when you get old and gassy you will be as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside. Plus, you’ll be so bitter about it you wont be able to stand it! I can’t wait…

  25. Anonymous says:

    I think at least she has been honest and it is admirable. Many women do it without telling anyone and that is sneaky.

  26. juggernaut says:

    that was a good post. i have friends who married for money and thats all they ended up with. Money.

  27. Harji says:

    The things we wont do for love, you would spend a moutain if you had too, follow your heart leave you mind to wonder.

    The sacrifices you make including a 500k.

  28. […] sent me this funny post and I wanted to share it with […]

  29. Laughing Reader says:

    I think the lesson she’d learn from this is wow, rich guys and their friends are a bunch of smart assholes, then again if she knew that we wouldn’t have to go through all this trouble to begin with. You’re argument is sound Thomas but you’re assumptions are flawed, you obviously have never truly fallen in love before. When you do you’ll wake up one day in St. Lucia with a ring and the depreciating asset sleeping next to you and no prenup. Then the jokes on you…