iTunes Movies are for Suckers
Mac Rumors: iTunes Movies to be sold for $9.99? Although an Apple movie service is not confirmed yet, MacRumors.com is reporting that iTunes has their first online movie up for sale. For $9.99 you can get a crappy DRM infested low res version of a 1 hour 39 minute Disney Channel original TV movie called High School Musical (ugh, boring).
Although in fairness to the movie I will say that most folks over at the IMDB actually do love it, I still can’t resist posting the review entitled “Worst Movie I HAve EVER SEEN!!” just for the humor of it all:
“The plot makes no sense. As if a teacher can be so horrible that the TRYOUTS for the high school musical would be on the same afternoon (why would it be at 3:30?) as the state basketball championship. If this were somehow true, you have the responsibility to a team in the first place because GAMES come before TRYOUTS. The only people who would like this movie are 14 year old girls who want to see that guy with his shirt off, by the way girls try the pool! H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E!! If you truly want to be bored to tears or you are in prison you should watch this movie. Also, why would people care if a fat girl dances or a guy likes to cook. This also comes to ask, why would brother and sister want to co- star in plays because who would want to have a kissing or intimate scene with their siblings? WORST MOVIE EVER!!”
So in keeping with the iTunes for Suckers theme, I’ll once again say that anyone who pays $9.99 for a crappy low res version of a second rate made for TV movie is indeed an idiot, pardon my French.
People don’t want low res movies. They want HDTV. HDTV is cool. It looks all fancy like. Low res iTune video looks like crap. And at $9.99 for a bad movie it’s expensive crap.
While I can appreciate Apple trying to do something here. They are going to need to come out with some kind of a committment to increase the both the content quality and the picture quality of their programming if they hope to see this work.
Perhaps a rewrite of Lou Reed’s classic tale of the streets of New York is in order:
Little Stevie Jobs never once gave it away. Everybody had to pay and pay. A hustle here and a hustle there. Cupertino’s the place where they say…
And the Appleheaded fan boys say, doo do doo do doo do do doo